


three bars, one city

by redtruthed



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Batman - Freeform, Gen, Social Media, Social Media AU, text fic, the Batfamily - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-25 22:05:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18172040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redtruthed/pseuds/redtruthed
Summary: The Wayne kids join Twitter.This is widely seen as a very bad move.





	three bars, one city

**Author's Note:**

> so y'all liked that first text fic i wrote huh. well, here's another one. based on the shenanigans the wayne kids experience online, because, well. you know. they're sort of famous.

**Gotham Gazette**   **✔** _@GothamGazetteOfficial_

5 HOURS AGO

EXCLUSIVE: THE SECOND SON OF BRUCE WAYNE EXPLAINS HIS INCREDIBLE 'RISE FROM THE DEAD'

   → **Ryan.** _@ProudGothamite241_

_replying to Gotham Gazette_

       omg??? he's alive??? since when???

   →  **timothy drake-wayne ✔** _@therealtimdrake_

       since five hours ago, apparently

   →  **Mrs Wayne ;)** _@topmebruce99_

       hOLY FUCK TIM DRAKE JUST REPLIED TO YOU SDNFKSHDFKSHDFHSF

   → **Ryan.** _@ProudGothamite241_

HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!

* * *

 **Jack Ryder** _@rydernews07_

5 HOURS AGO

So we're all supposed to believe that your son is magically "alive" now, _@BruceWayne?_ despite the fact that he looks NOTHING like he did when he was young? #replacementchild #publicitystunt

  →  **Sandra** _@sandyihatstumblr_

_replying to Jack Ryder_

Maybe he just, y'know, grew up?

   →  **Jesse** _@supermannedguy_

I could've sworn that kid died for real.

    →  **Mrs Wayne ;)** _@topmebruce99_

There were reports of a funeral and Comm. Gordon tweeted some pretty cryptic shit but nothing was confirmed

    →  **Jesse** _@supermannedguy_

Typical for the Waynes. Wonder if there'll be a press conference or joint statement from them issued later

* * *

 **Damian Wayne ✔** _@ilikepets547_

3 HOURS AGO

Yes, for all those asking. Jason Todd is real, and we are related.

    → **Damian Wayne ✔** _@ilikepets547_

_replying to Damian Wayne_

Now that is out of the way, we can resume the usual programming of cat updates.

     → **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

        holy shit, dami. you really live like this?

     → **Damian Wayne ✔** _@ilikepets547_

        Get verified before you address me in public, worm.

* * *

  **GOTHAM CELEBS DAILY** _@GoCelebNews247_

2 HOURS AGO

IS THERE BEEF BETWEEN THE WAYNE BROTHERS?? CELEB DAILY INVESTIGATES...

* * *

  **Dick ✔** _@flyinggrayson_

2 HOURS AGO

I swear to God. You've been on Twitter an hour, _@jtoddled._

    → **just ur average stan** _@superwhobat55_

_replying to Dick_

OMGMGENGESDFNSKDF THEY'RE INTERACTING I CAN'T SLDFKSJFDS

* * *

  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

 2 HOURS AGO

 _@flyinggrayson_ : it's not my fucking fault his username is _@ilikepets547!_

     → **Dick ✔** _@flyinggrason_

_replying to JASON TODD_

He's thirteen!

     → **CCW ✔** _@waynecasscain_

And he likes pets!

     → **Duke Thomas ✔** _@iamtheduke_

547!

     → **Duke Thomas ✔** _@iamtheduke_

Sorry. Not sure why I put that now.

 **→JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

         s'okay, d. i'm not sure why you did either

* * *

  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

1 HOUR AGO

Wow. I hit 750k followers. Thanks for that. But please stop sending me pictures of oatmeal.

 → **Steph! ✔** _@stephaniebbrown_

_replying to JASON TODD_

  do you know anything about pr? like, at all?

 → **jason todd stan** _@thesecondwaynebrother_

_YYyyeysss oatmeal kINGGGG_

* * *

**timothy drake-wayne ✔** _@therealtimdrake_

1 HOUR AGO

just got two texts from jason. one of them's asking me how to get verified.

   →  **timothy drake-wayne ✔** _@therealtimdrake_

_replying to timothy drake-wayne_

       the other's asking me to explain the oatmeal.

* * *

  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

45 MINUTES AGO

OK SO STEPH JUST INFORMED ME THAT THE OATMEAL THING

     →  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

_replying to JASON TODD_

       IS BECAUSE APPARENTLY THE WHITE STRIPE IN MY HAIR

     →  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

       IS OATMEAL COLORED??

     →  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

       BUT IT'S NOT??

     →  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

       IT'S CLEARLY WHITE????????

* * *

 

 **Bruce Wayne. ✔** _@BruceWayne_

10 MINUTES AGO

_@jtoddled_ Jason. I assumed the purpose of this account was to promote your business endeavours. Not start discussions about oatmeal. I take it I assumed wrong? 

     →  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

       Hi, you have reached the office of Jason Todd Enterprises INC. He is not available for contact right now, but you can try leaving a message after the tone.

      →  **Bruce Wayne. ✔** _@BruceWayne_

       Jason. 

       →  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

       BLEEEP!

        **→ Bruce Wayne. ✔** _@BruceWayne_

       Jason, please. I have 25 million followers.

       →  **JASON TODD** _@jtoddled_

       more's the pity for you, old man. more's the pity for you.


End file.
